'It’s my life, it's my life my world........... '
Many people remember the popular song by Bon Jovi because
the sound of it just usually get the listener in the mood to take charge and
take control of their lives and shun the interference of any third party. Apart
from being an old time favourite, it is a song of expression for the freedom
that most young people crave for, especially those in their teens and early
twenties (tweens). So it is quite typical to have the song played at any
gathering of young people as a means to pump up their adrenalin perhaps the
same reason why Mr.Tade Ogidan chose the song to be choreographed at the
premier of the movie ‘Family on Fire’ recently.
Beyond the melody and energy of the song however, I realise
the reason youngster ‘feel’ the song so much because of the connection and
interpretation it gives to their personality and the pretty much the message
they try to send to the older generation who are constantly on their backs.
Since my involvement with teenagers and young people, I have
noticed that parents and guardians conclude that young people want to be left
alone to live their lives, or do they? Should we really leave them alone? Does this not emphasis the main cause for the
deteriorating state or the complete breakdown of the value system in the
country?
Well, I cannot deny the latest trend for youngsters in
seeking freedom is to rebel in their teen years against whatever plan their
parents have for them and seek their own. The most common is dropping out of
school to pursue showbiz or is it career, either in music, acting or modelling
or out rightly leaving home to avoid any possible drift with the parents’ lack
of support.
And as if to proof they were right about their decision all
along, these young people find their way back home and the result is often that
the parent now can see reasons with them because they have ‘hit’ some serious
bucks and have now earned ‘200%’ support from the same parent who didn’t
support them initially. But then, those who are not very lucky to ‘hit’ as
expected also come back home all the same.
This coming back home suggest to me that no matter how much
freedom teenagers and young adults want, they always want to look back to find
someone mostly a parent or guardian figure that’s got their back whether or not
their decisions produced a good or bad consequences. It is also important to know
these youngsters may tell themselves and the parent that they can make it on
their own, but the truth is they will always seek the approval of their parent.
In my opinion, Parents, Guardian, Mentors and the older
generation need to understand that teenager will be teenagers and their lives
will always be characterised by not- well- thought- out- decisions at one time
or the other whether they live here in the country or sent abroad. So there is
a need to adopt a concept I call ‘Holding of hands and Pointing of finger.’ Holding
of hands entails building relationship, providing support as they experience
the changes in their lives and encouraging them to pursue life with value and
enthusiasm notwithstanding the odds. Pointing of finger connotes showing direction
and giving instruction which most parent or those of the older generation
practice a lot.
There is a misunderstanding though, in the application of
the concept and so some parents overly hold the hands and forget to point the
finger hence they end up raising kids who cannot complete their own NYSC
clearance at the age of 22 but needs mummy or daddy to first talk to the
officer on their behalf. They’re the ones who also require a personal letter to
the MD of the organisation they want employment because they don’t trust their
ability to stand out in an interview.
The other extreme is pointing the finger without the holding
of hands which translates literally into throwing away the baby with the bath
water. Such kids have been given instructions all their life and have little or
no support on the direction and instruction they’ve been given. There had been
no one to run to when they had questions in their heart about life and what
made right, right and what make wrong, wrong. When they need answers to how
justifiable a 419 deal is, they were too unconnected with their parents to ask
such a question.
The reality of the times we live in require Parents and the
older generation to raise their game and not assume they can raise their wards
like they were brought up, the times have changes and we need to smell the
coffee and quite living in denial. Often times, the quality of life and value
we have embraced as parents are truly depicted by those of our children. It is
time to wake up and take responsibility.
cheers
No comments:
Post a Comment