Seriously?,........when did learning become an only school affair???

Attended a launch event this past weekend and even though the services being launched were similar to those of BackDoor Connections, which should have made me jilter for the threat of competition......i just couldn't. For whatever reasons, i was too excited to know that i'm not the only one feeling the need for increased knowledge in young people outside the classroom and i found myself applauding louder than everyone else in the audience......strange...ehn?

Well it turns out that not withstanding the lack of attention given to the development of non-formal education in the Nigeria society (for obvious reasons.....), the fact remains that the concept is growing and most part of the world now emphasis it as a mean of improving and sustaining its counterpart -the formal education.

The importance of non-fomal education is known to a lot of people not because they have been taught but largely because we all experience it at one time or the other in our lives. You definitely can recall those times you went visiting your Grandma and she took it upon herself to teach you the value of saving money by buying you a 'kolo' (local piggy bank), something you parent perharps laughed at as one of those things Grandmas do. I for instance will never forget how my father will ensure that we had good meals before we went for a party so that hunger does not rob of our comportment.

My point is while the classroom teaches formal education of 'what' is to be done, non-formal emphasis 'why' the 'what' has to be done which carries a conviction with it and guarantees thoroughness, attention to details, competence etc. So for anyone to think for a split second that all a child needs should be received in the classroom is almost like saying to be born in a bakery makes you a bread!

I'm almost sure everyone can come to terms with my point but again may tend to assume that these things happen to everyone as they grow and that we would pick up these non-formal learnings at one time in our lives or the other, but the question we might need to pulse and ask are those of, - where the kids these days are meant to pick any learning from when they do not relate to anyone but their own family members (and maybe 'Comfort', who happens to run the house when the parents are out working).

Much as i never will be a castigator of the present time who sees all good in my generation and all the worst of this net generation, i must say values which come from non-formal learning are not that rampant anymore in this dispensation to the point that we leave it to chance. The search for value has now become something we must make conscious effort to instill in our young people......we owe them that much! Just like there has been tremendious growth in the formal education system, we must ensure growth in the other forms of learning as well.


My final words will be if the system does not give your light, get a generator.......perfect analogy, right? It is time to be proactive.

Cheers

Timsyn

Here comes the 'BackDoor Bridge Forum'.....all dressed for Red Carpet

So i've been doing all these talking and sharing for some time now and it has been good so far because apart from the fact that friends, family, colleagues and even some acquitances are now beginging to realise that this is for real, there has been an evolution process that i have being going through, like trying to give life to this dream no matter the odds, having to do most task on my own to make sure things get moving.....oh, and you wont believe how prudent i have suddenly turned out to be which is strange because one would expect that my life as a finance person would ensure, but apparently we do take things for granted and for me it was the salary which was sure by month end. 


Even though i thought i would take my time before and just move at my own pace, the need to put BackDoor out there has been trailing me and wont let me be.......i just feel the atmosphere is particularly ready for this. It is as if a sudden awareness or awakening is engulfing everyone now.....public, private and the corporate sector and not to propose the value that we have to offer will not only be unpatriotic but almost criminal. 


I must confess that it is not an easy task to achieve in a society where teenagers hardly have a voice, by that i mean not represented distinctly......a parent accosted the other day and was complaining about how the teenage son is lacking in engagement by way of teens activities and of course i sized the opportunity to sell the BackDoor Tribe to her, she was highly impressed and receptive. i have also had another parent telling me to bring down the age limit to 9years since some kids get to Secondary School at that age.....(talk about fastness of this generation!).


Anyway, this is the story of my life and therefore Ladies 'n' Gentlemen, Teenagers and Young Adults, Parents and Guardian, School Owners and Administrator and all y'all who love to inspire young people.......Please join us as we present our maiden edition of the BackDoor Bridge Forum at Planet 1 on the 7th of April, 2012 where we shall attempt to close the relationship barrier between Tweens and the older generation in the critical subject matter of  the media.


The theme of the event has been themed 'The Big Screen and You' with a view to look at the media realities of our time and the effect they (movies, music, advertisement/marketing, social networking) have on the self image of the Tween. 


Professional in these fields (apart from celebrities who will be available to make the Red Carpet glamorous) will throw light on why the media is important and how the participants can make the best out of it notwithstanding the violence and stereotyping that characterize it.


Trust me when i say don't miss out on this, 'cos it promises to be rewarding for all participants.

Sound Tracks of Experiences

If you are a avid lover of movies, you would almost be able to tell what movie is featuring on your favourite movie station the moment you hear the music played along the movie even when you didn't have a chance to see the title. Sound tracks just bring back memories of a movie to us because they are peculiar and distinct. I can actually recall some right now......!

Over the years i have found out that one of the greatest complaints of teenagers and young people are the fact that their parents do not listen to them or over-react at the slightest things they do. A teenage girl of about 13yrs old once vowed openly in one of our meeting never to be like her mum when she becomes a mother herself....which i find very embarrassing because her mum is a church leader! Even though i cannot  take their words for it sometimes, i have had to look into my own life only to discover how much i had been driven by a certain occurrence or a past experience which formed the basis of my judgement and action to a present situation.

Frederick Buechner in his book 'Listening to your Life' said....'To live without listening at all is to live deaf to the fullness of music. Sometimes we avoid listening for the fear of what we may hear, sometimes for the fear that we may hear nothing at all but the empty rattle of our own feet on the pavement...'. Unpleasant experiences of the past, a sad but preventable occurrence in a close friends life, a story in the newspaper, an aspiration we haven't been able to attain... etc, can become sound tracks in our lives that we hear and is now having significant impact on the relationship we have with our adolescent we love.


Sound track can also have amazing positive impact in our lives especially if their sound in our ears are those of love, confidence, friendship when they were provided by our parents, teachers, grandparents or a mentor.


The way we relate with people especially those of our household is largely determined by the voices that have formed a sound track in our lives....so you find yourselves freaking out the day you notice your daughter or niece goes out with her friends wearing make-up and feeling generally excited when she got back to the point you conclude she must have been with boys and those friends are never to be seen around her anymore!....i believe you can imagine what that will do to her especially if your assumptions were absolute untrue.


Even though experience is said to be the best teacher, you might want to check if the experience has become such a sound track that does not let you listen to the tune of the moment and what effect that may have on your relationship,.....now even though i am an advocate for tween issues, i bet you can also apply this to other relationships in your life and you'll make some awesome discoveries to which adjustments are required.  



Cheers

Timsyn

Please raise your glasses!!!!

Just remembered i was meant to write on 'Soundtracks' which i promised in the last post and yes i will, but please give me this time to just bear my mind.

If you are a family person who has to work to ensure there is more than food on the table (my kids will not eat certain brands of cereal, for one!), and still has to keep up with the happenings in yours kid's live, not forgetting the unrealistic deadline that younger boss of yours pushed down your throat and has to be delivered on by the next morning!!!......ok, maybe i exaggerated a little bit but, boy!...the things we deal with and the demand of life can be so stressful!

I thought i had escaped all that when i left paid employment but right now i dont know if anything has changed, there still are a zillion things to do and deliver on, a lot to be achieved so much so that half the time i am still stuck on the system, on phone or on the wheels trying to keep up an appointment.

Life can be pretty hard for those raising a family but then again maybe the consolation is that God has put in us enough to carry us through our lifes as a breadwinner, a supporter, a boss, a brother/sister, a father/mother, a mentor, a friend...whatever the responsibilities are.

I indeed raise my glass to you and moi here for being who we are now and to the better us that we aspire to be. Let's face it, life will always demand of us and there will always be something we can do better and higher height we can attain. It is however fact that there also will be people, circumstances and situation that will help us to be that better person and achieve that goal.

So go on sweat it out, work hard and aim high but dont give up yet on those aspect that you want to improve but haven't had the time to focus on. Open your mind and you will be surprised to see that opportunities were always there.


Cheers

P.S

Remember to keep April 7th open for the BackDoor Bridge Forum. It's a great opportunity to have a good time with your tween and tackle some valueable issue of the Media and how it affects you.

On the First Lady 'Poor Parenting' Forum

Now i am convinced that it is not just me feeling the need for a change in our society afterall and that is a relief because the more of the problems we see, the higher the possibilities of looking for a solution or embracing the solution others might bring to the table.............i am talking about the fact that in the past one week or so i have watched on the TV, a serious clamour for better parenting and the need to be more involved in our kids lives.

First, it was Mrs. Fashola conveying a meeting of professionals from all works of life to discuss, which was impressive because she also had young people in the house to bare their minds on their expectation of parenting. 

Then i watched a certain program which have Mona Mathew (Shoe Designer)  and Agatha Amata of Inside Out also discussing literarily the same topic. So it turns out that everyone is kind of concerned about the younger generation and worried about the trend of things.

For me this is very fascinating because i can clearly see that my trying to deal with young adult and teenagers issues is not what exist in mind alone or something i made up....(thank God!). But the big question is how does this problem get solved?.....i have to give it to Mrs. Fashola for at least featuring some youth in her forum (didn't see a lot of teenagers there, but i can almost understand why not!).

For a minute though, i wondered how many people sat in that meeting as parents or guardian wanting a solution to an evident problem or attended because it was a political gathering and you had to be there because it was convened by our First Lady.......i dont know, but i am just saying. Everyone can say all they want about the problems of parenting including me but those who will succeed are the one who would not just talk about it because talk is cheap but will take an action towards gaining understanding,being honest with themselves and working hard to ensure the best for their ward. I know it sounds like what every parent will do but ask yourself this simple question and remember to be as honest as can be.......when last did i take an action that gave me a new understanding of handling my kids and can i pinpoint exactly what that action did to our relationship (by relationship, i mean your ward too).

After all said, it is evident that the issue of parenting is more than just raising your kids the way you were raised or the way your friend raises his/her own or what the culture prescribes (unless it is practical), but a sincere look into ourselves and the interpretation that we project from our action which our kids see and would pick rather than the 'valuable lessons' we teach them when we talk.

Speaking of which, i should share something about 'Soundtracks' with you the next time i write, so sure it will put your mind to work on some important issues in your parenting techniques......and lest i forget, please look out for the upcoming event 'The Big Screen & You', a workshhop on media realities of this generation......handbills and advert will be out soon and it promises to be absolutely rewarding!

Lean on me......gone wrong! (Contd....)

Since my last post on this blog, i'd practically lost composure due to the fact that i'm got convinced the issue was not well tackled, surely the issue of frienship and influence deserve more highlight than the few paragraphs i accorded it......,but then again, it was a good thing because that uneasy feeling made me think about it in an even bigger and may different perspective all together.

We all get attracted to people for different reasons and we touch each other's emotions without even realising it. Much as i think that young people make friends for the slightest reasons, i found out that adults do too and thanks to the hurried life we now live, sometimes we don't even have time or chance to look deeply into the lives of our potential friends except at those weekly meetings at church or at the club or as a client or a business associate, until an event occurs and we realise the true identity of the person is revealed. At that point, dissociation become painful, heart breaking or even impossible.

To a large extent, the same picture or senerio is at play with young people except that the criteria are mostly those of wanting to belong or fit-in into a clique or roll with someone who's got something they admire, want or lack. Unlike the adults however, influences from friends are easily picked and harder to drop.

Infuences from friends or someone might even be easy to deal with because we can pinpoint who and where they are coming from but how about those that we clueless about and you find yourself asking your ward where on earth they got those attitude from? The truth is most times they do not have the answer themselves and just do not want to discuss it because 'parents do not understand'.

Now, the ones that worry me the most are influences from intangible sources, those you cannot hold anyone in particular responsible or accountable for but have an enoumous amount of effect on your teenager's growth process!..... i am talking about internet, social networks, television, music, celebrities, fashion and so on. These are the realities of this generation and the attention required deal with influence from friends is equally as needed for these ones too......i mean, think for a minute......when was the last time you child discussed with you happenings or the recent developments on facebook, or the lastest gist about someone on twitter? Do you honestly think your teen's life on these media is trivial and not important to their growth?......well, i'll leave you with that thought and hopefully we get to come back on the realities.......


Cheers

  
Timsyn